Random Lord of the Ring Happenings
by RoCKiNRoLLSTaRR
Summary: Three girls get teleported 'Bill and Ted' phonebooth style into the Middle Earth. Random 'Lord of the Rings' encounters occurs. Read it. Love it. Review it.
1. Default Chapter

Aight. This is just random, out of the ordinary, scary, and most definitely screwed up fanfic about - you guessed it - Lord of the Rings. This isn't exactly based particularly on any part of the trilogy, I'm only borrowing the characters. So please, no suing me. That wouldn't be nice. Besides, I'm not getting money and you most certainly wouldn't be getting any money either, so hey, we're both just tough out of luck. Now if you'll excuse me . . . Read already! *** Oh, BTW, "Beware for the path you take will lead to certain destruction!" (Random Bowie references shall be involved with all this insanity.) You may now resume.  
  
"Spooning is dirty!" Lauren, Stephanie, and Niki shouted together, scaring off the crowd of people near the box office. They had just gotten out of seeing 'Lord of the Rings: The Two Towers' and now were walking around the movie theater parking lot.  
  
"What now?" Lauren asked.  
  
"We could go to the Bowie phone booth!" Stephanie piped up.  
  
"Yeah! Maybe Bowie will suck us in!" Niki shouted grabbing their hands and running towards the booth. Nearing the booth Niki skidded to a halt.  
  
"Growl. They're in my phone booth." Niki growled, staring at the three preppies who had invaded her phone booth. They were busily laughing and talking together making preppy hand movements with their hands.  
  
"Get out of my phone booth!" Niki shouted in their direction. They didn't even look up. Lauren looked at Niki then back to the phone booth. She got an evil glint to her eyes.  
  
"Uh-oh." Stephanie and Niki said, exchanging a look. Lauren walked across the parking lot and towards the red Ziggy Stardust British phone booth. With another glance towards each other, Stephanie and Niki followed her.  
  
" . . . and that's why cops have guns." Lauren finished just as Niki and Steph came up. The preppies eyes were wide with wonder.  
  
"You are so right!" They all yelled in unison. Lauren nodded, happy with herself.  
  
"Now be gone!" Niki yelled swinging her phone booth door open and dragging her friends in.  
  
"Who should we call?" Niki asked picking up the phone, prepared to dial.  
  
"Um . . ."  
  
"How about John!" Stephanie yelled excitedly.  
  
"No! You'll start to sing 'John McDonald Had a Farm'!" Niki complained. Too late. Lauren had already started to sing. Niki whapped her friend with the phone.  
  
"Fine. Um, call Hastings."  
  
"Why?"  
  
"So you can page Jay. Duh." Stephanie told her all blondishly.  
  
"Oh. Okay! Gimme money!" Niki demanded, holding out her hand. Lauren obliged and forked over thirty-five cents. She did like any normal person would do. She dropped the quarter and the dime down the slot but when she began to dial the phone booth did something weird. Just like in 'Bill and Ted's Excellent Adventure', the phone booth flashed a bright light and disappeared completely. After a few seconds of bright flashy lights and spinning through vortexes and all sorts of crap, the phone booth landed with a loud bang in the middle of a forest.  
  
"Dude." Was all they could say. They stared out of the phone booth, their faces and hands pressed against the glass.  
  
"Hey! I saw something move!" Niki shouted, smacking her head against the glass. "Ouchies." She rubbed her injured head and looked closer.  
  
"I saw it!"  
  
"Dude, the bushes are moving. Could it be . . .?" Lauren asked in a wondering tone.  
  
"No! EW!!" Stephanie shouted. She looked closer. It looked like a really tall sandy brunette haired man in tights.  
  
"Could it be . . ."  
  
"No, it can't be . . ." 


	2. Chapter Two

"NO! It is!" Niki shouted pointing towards the tall figure.  
  
"NO! NOT BOROMIR!!" They all shouted in unison. Boromir looked up. It was then that he noticed three females crammed into a small box. He grinned and ran full speed ahead shouting, "WOMEN!!"  
  
"ACK! Close the door!" Niki screamed, diving for the door. Too late. Boromir had already swung the door open and was yanking the girls out.  
  
"Why hello ladies. Are you lost? Do you need help? Do you need a man?" Boromir asked, trying to be helpful and seductive at the same time. It wasn't working, considering the three were gagging.  
  
"Come, let me bring you back to my fellowship. There you will find food and shelter from the harsh wilderness and perhaps some manly loving." Boromir winked as he grabbed the girls and dragged them away from their phone booth. After dragging the three girls through the wilderness for about half an hour, causing them many scratches and bruises, he finally stopped.  
  
"Here you will find my fellowship. They are kindly fellows and -"  
  
"OH MY GOSH!! It's Pippin!" Niki shouted, running towards the hobbit.  
  
"Hullo! Can I help you?"  
  
"Yeah, um we -" Lauren started to speak.  
  
"PIPPIN! You're so cute!" Niki shouted, tackling him.  
  
"Hey don't cut me off like that!" Lauren shouted before noticing Frodo. "OH MY GOSH IT'S FRODO!"  
  
"Uh . . . do I know you?"  
  
"Well, not yet but like, you're the best."  
  
"Aw, thanks." He smiled.  
  
"Yep. I mean wow."  
  
"HEY! Keep it down over there! I'm trying to tell Pippin how awesome he is!" Niki shouted. Just then she noticed Frodo.  
  
"Who's da hobbit, hey Elijah? Who's da hobbit? You da hobbit!" Niki shouted, grabbing him in a hug.  
  
"Elijah? That's a pansy name!" Pippin piped up.  
  
"And 'Frodo' isn't?" Merry asked.  
  
"Good point."  
  
"Boromir!" Strider shouted. Boromir looked up from the girls.  
  
"What is this? Evil has found us!" he shouted crazily. Boromir smiled.  
  
"Silly ranger, these are women. Women I say."  
  
"Nothing but trouble." Gilmi spoke up. Lauren glared at him, advancing towards him menacingly. He gulped as she grabbed his ax and tried to cut his beard off. He screamed like a girl and ran to hide behind Boromir. Lauren grinned proudly and high fived Stephanie.  
  
"What is all this ruckus?" Gandalf shouted, appearing from the foliage of the trees. Right behind him was Legolas.  
  
"LEGO!!" Lauren and Stephanie shouted running towards him.  
  
"Ladies!" he shouted back before he was tackled to the ground.  
  
"Mine!"  
  
"No! MINE!"  
  
"Mine, mine, mine!"  
  
"Ladies, ladies. Let's all do the sophisticated thing and all sleep together!" Legolas said helpfully. They looked at him then at each other.  
  
"Mine!"  
  
"MINE!!" They went back to arguing over him. Niki was happily petting Frodo's fluffy mane of hair. He didn't mind, he liked the attention.  
  
"Boromir, what have you brought upon us?" Gandalf asked.  
  
"EVIL!" Strider shouted before he was knocked unconscious by Gandalf's staff.  
  
"As I was saying . . . Boromir, who are these . . . girls . . .?" He asked eyeing them. They did not look of this world. He examined each one carefully, taking mental notes.  
  
Lauren was about 5'9 with black curly hair cropped short. She had brown cheerful eyes. She wore denim jeans with a black lacy top. Stephanie was about 5'5 with strawberry blonde hair a few inches past her ears. Her eyes were a crystal clear blue. She wore black knee high boots with short white shorts and a Harley shirt. Niki stood at 5'7 with dyed black hair that curled under at her ear lobes. She had golden brown eyes that shone with pure happiness as he petted Frodo. She wore flared denim pants with a black shirt advertising 'Lord of the Rings'. That was odd.  
  
"How do you know of the Fellowship?" Gandalf asked her. Niki didn't look up.  
  
"Miss, please." Gandalf tapped her with his staff. Niki jumped, clearly startled.  
  
"Your shirt." He said again. Niki looked down.  
  
"Oh, I bought this at Hot Topic." Niki announced before going back to petting Frodo. He sighed contentedly. Gandalf sighed with irritation. Sitting down, Gandalf watched as Stephanie and Lauren fought over Legolas.  
  
"Once again ladies, my offer still stands . . ." he attempted.  
  
"Let's tie him down!"  
  
"Okay!"  
  
"Yay! Wait a minute!" Legolas had to think about that.  
  
"Gandalf! Help!" Legolas cried as the girls tried to tie him down. Gandalf snickered. Boromir pouted.  
  
"Legolas, stop hogging the women. I found them." He stated sulkily. Merry and Sam were also feeling left out. No one had ran up to them hugging them wildly or ranting on about how awesome they were. Oh well.  
  
"'Tis getting dark. Perhaps we should light a fire?" Gilmi suggested. He was getting sick and tired and hearing Legolas cry for help and having to hear Boromor complain.  
  
"Good idea. Let us go and gather sticks." Strider announced, finally waking up from his unconsciousness. They ran off together in search of firewood.  
  
"Did you know that you are all soft and furry?" Niki asked Frodo. He shook his head. "Well you are." He smiled and snuggled closer to her. Sam sighed. That was his job.  
  
"What about dinner?" Merry asked.  
  
"Yeah!" Pippin shouted.  
  
"Here." Gandalf handed them bark to gnaw on. They frowned, but accepted the bark nonetheless. After a few minutes of gnawing noises, Strider and Gilmi came back waving sticks and happily singing the 'We've got sticks' song.  
  
"Now let us set afire to this dry patch of grass!" Strider announced rubbing two sticks together.  
  
"Wait!" Lauren cried jumping up and whipping out a piece of paper from her pocket. She cleared her throat and started to read.  
  
" . . . always bring a lighter because rubbing two sticks together just doesn't make a fire!" she concluded. Merry, Pippin, and Sam clapped, whooped, and hollered. She took a bow before returning back to torturing Legolas.  
  
"Anyways . . ." Strider said, grabbing his sticks again and rubbing furiously. After a while nothing happened.  
  
"Told you so!" Lauren called between Legolas' screams of help.  
  
"Yeah well . . . EVIL!!" Strider shouted back at her, unhappy that his wondrous sticks wouldn't catch fire. He pouted and then turned to Gimli.  
  
"They won't catch on fire." Strider pouted like a five year-old. Gimli grunted and grabbed the sticks before rubbing them together just as Strider had done earlier. Nothing happened.  
  
"ALIGHT YOU! ALIGHT!" Gimli shouted angrily at the sticks, nearly snapping them in half. He threw the sticks down in disgust. Strider looked up at him with hope shining in his eyes. Gimli shrugged. Strider's hope died. Picking up a stick he doodled in the ground all sad and forlorn.  
  
Soon it was dark and still no fire was produced. 


End file.
